Black Rose, Wilting
by XionTheBlackRose
Summary: When I woke up, I didn't know anything except for what I was. A simple experiment. I didn't know what my purpose was, and after meeting Roxas, I don't care. Roxas said we're friends, he's the only one who treats me like a person. I know I'm not real, but the longer I spend with my friends, the more I want to be. Roxas and Axel care about me, and I care about them. Can't this last?
1. Awakening

**Awakening**

I wake up in a dark room, there are multiple machines and devices I don't recognize. As I look around the room briefly, I see a man with long blond hair grinning down at me. I don't like the look in his eyes. He cackles, "Success! It's awake! Finally, my experiment has worked!"

I don't know what he's talking about, so I just stare at him. He claps and runs from the room, shouting, "I must alert Lord Xemnas at once!"

I'm so confused, I don't know where I am, who that man was, who "Xemnas" is, or even who _I_ am. I sit up slowly and wince as I feel something tug on my skin in multiple places. I look down slowly and tilt my head. My body is kind of small, and there are multiple tubes attached to me. Four in each leg, three in each arm, there's even a tube attached to my chest. There's a small sheet wrapped around my body and the rest of me is bare. I barely recall what a "body" is, but I know I have one. I look around the room again, hoping to understand more of what I'm seeing, but my mind is blank.

I don't really know what I'm looking at. My mind just repeats machines, different kinds of machines. The door opens and the blond man returns. I notice he's wearing a white coat over a black one. That doesn't make sense, does it? Behind him is another man in a black coat. This new man is very tall, and he has white hair and scary eyes. I don't like the way he's looking at me. I shiver, I prefer the blond man's eyes now. I look away from the new man and I listen as the blond man speaks again, "See, didn't I tell you? It worked! Experiment 3128-X-I-O-N-14 is ready!"

 _3128-X-I-O-N-14? Is that what I am? I don't know what that means_. I can feel the scary-eyed man looking at me again and I peek a glance at him. I regret it. He smirks at me as I look at him and he crosses his arms, "It seems your experiment might need more work, Vexen."

The blond man frowns, "What ever do you mean by that?"

"What did you say 3128-X-I-O-N-14 looked like? I don't think it's ready to be planted." the man replies.

The blond man, Vexen, scoffs, "Lord Xemnas, I assure you the experiment is ready! It's appearance is something I can fix with ease!"

The man, Xemnas, shakes his head, "I'm giving you until tomorrow to get it fixed. If the appearance returns to how you described it to me, then we can proceed with the plan. If not, scrap it and start again."

Vexen groans, "Yes, sir."

Xemnas leaves and Vexen turns to me, sighing, "What could have went wrong? The appearance was consistent until it woke."

He frowns and starts turning handles on the machines around me, connected to me. I try to blink away the darkness clouding my eyes, but after a few seconds, I lose my newfound life. I hear the sound of waves, the darkness melts away, revealing a beautiful island. The sun shines high and I can hear someone laughing. I hear a new voice, _"Give it up, Sora. You'll never win like that!"_

Another voice speaks, _"You cheated, Riku! I'll beat you this time!"_

The previous voice, _Riku?_ laughs, _"Winning isn't cheating, Sora! You're such a sore loser!"_

 _"Say that to my face, pretty boy!"_ Sora replies. I can see three kids on the island now. A silver haired boy, who's laughing and holding a wooden sword, a brown spiky haired boy, who's sitting on the sand, pointing a wooden sword at the silver haired boy, and a violet haired girl standing beside them, laughing. It's her laugh that I heard first. The silver haired boy smirks, I recognize his voice as Riku, _"Want to try again, then?"_

The brown haired boy jumps up, _"I'll smash you!"_

 _He's Sora._ Sora smirks then, _"First to get ten strikes on the other wins?"_

Riku raises his sword, smiling, _"You're on."_

The violet haired girl giggles, shaking her head, _"Guess I'm the judge then. On the count of three, attack."_

She looks between them, _"Ready? One. Two. Three!"_

Sora and Riku dash at each other and the vision fades back to darkness. I open my eyes again and I'm still in the dark room with all the machines. I'm still wearing a sheet, with many tubes connected to me. I see Vexen off to the side, walking back and forth with his arms crossed. After a few minutes he looks at me. He gasps and runs over to me. He frowns, then quickly smiles, "Well, the appearance isn't the original, but it hasn't changed since I started fixing it. This will have to appease Lord Xemnas."

It's kind of annoying that he's looking at me and talking, but he's not talking to me. He turns and rushes from the room. I lie here for a few minutes before he returns with Xemnas again. As they enter the room, Vexen is talking, "-It may not be the original design, but the appearance has been consistent these past weeks. I told you I could fix the mistakes about the overall appearance."

Xemnas crosses his arms, "And since you started fixing the appearance, how many times has it shifted?"

"Hm, twice since the first shift. But this appearance has been consistent as of sixteen days ago." Vexen replies, raising an eyebrow, "Well? What do you think?"

Xemnas walks up to me and leans slightly towards me, "How reactive is it? It must be coherent, it's eyes follow you as you speak."

"I've yet to hear 3128-X-I-O-N-14 speak, but the body is responsive. The eyes follow as you speak or move, and it follows commands, simple ones as far as I know. It has yet to get off that table, I've been making sure it can support itself without the help of my machines. The experiment can move its head, arms, and legs. Give me a few days to make sure it can support itself, and we can go forth with the plan." Vexen explains.

"If the plan is to succeed, it must be able to function like us. You have until the end of the week to get it prepared." Xemnas states.

Vexen nods, smiling, "No worries, sir. I'll have _her_ ready in time. By the way, it's Number XIII's second day, how is he doing?"

Xemnas turns and leaves, speaking as he walks away, "Roxas's progress is as well as expected given the circumstances."

Vexen nods as Xemnas leaves, then he turns to me. He claps once, smiling slightly, "Now, then, shall we get started?"

He starts unplugging all the tubes and I wince as each one leaves my body. A silver liquid flows lightly from each tear the tubes leave behind. Vexen notices this and he moves across the room, then comes back with white cloth? He takes my left arm and quickly wraps each place the liquid is coming from. He does this to my right arm, as well as my legs as the tubes are removed. The final tube to be removed is lodged in my chest. Vexen grabs a hold of the tube, causing me to flinch.

"This will probably hurt a lot, if you can feel pain." he says.

He then rips the tube out and I know I can feel "pain." As the tube is ripped from my chest, more silver liquid flows out, and a very sharp, intense pain flares through my whole body. I scream, and I now know I can make noise. Vexen sits me up and wraps the small white cloth around my chest, stopping the strange liquid. He seems pleased with himself, "Well, you can feel pain. That's good, I'll have to remember to put that in my notes."

He helps me off the slab I've been lying on and I feel weird, standing. My feet kind of hurt and my legs wobble. I want to lie back down. My body trembles and Vexen holds me up, "I have to make sure you can function without the machines. I need you to take a few steps."

It takes a few minutes before I can make my feet move, my body wants to collapse. This all feels wrong. I'm not sure how long Vexen had me walk back and forth across the room, but the more I do it, the less the movement hurts. After awhile, Vexen lets go of me, "Now, walk back to the other side of the room by yourself."

I follow his instructions. I wobble, but I make it to the slab I lied on without falling down. I turn back to him and he smiles, clapping once, "Splendid! Now, come back over here."

I walk back over to him, and I'm even less wobbly, too. He claps again, "Wonderful! I knew this would work!"

 _Yes, I work. His.. Experiment._


	2. NumberXIV-Xion

**Number XIV-Xion**

I spend a few, what Vexen calls "days", just walking back and forth. Vexen seems pleased with me. I like that. Vexen leaves the room unexpectedly and I keep walking back and forth, waiting for him to come back. It doesn't take long for him to come back and he's carrying a black cloak like his. I stop walking and look at him. He holds the coat out to me, "Put that on."

I blink and tilt my head, but I take the cloak from him. _I don't know how to do this._ I stare at the coat and he groans, snatching it from me, "Just hold your arms out."

I obey him and he unzips the coat then puts it around me, putting the coat arms over my arms. The coat is way too big and he groans, taking it off me, "Ill have to make adjustments. Go lie down or something."

He leaves the room again and I go back to my slab. I sit on it and look at the ceiling. This room is always so dark. If this room has "light" it's never on. I don't like being in the dark. I look down at my arms and my legs. I kick my legs back and forth. I don't actually know what I even look like. Vexen and Xemnas said something about my "appearance" changing? _Is that what it means? Does what I look like changes?_ I look around the room again, but I don't see anything that can tell me what I look like. I shake my head and black silky stuff flaps about my face. "Hair." _That's hair._ Like Vexen has "blond" hair. I find it funny that I don't know any of the words I think about. I just.. _Know_ them, but I don't know what they _mean_.

It takes a really long time for Vexen to come back and he comes over to me, "Hold your arms out."

I obey him again and he puts the black coat around me again. This time it fits right. He pulls me off the slab and I stand there as he adjusts the coat. He then zips it up. He steps back, looking me up and down. He nods, "That will do." He then takes the coat back off me and folds it up, putting it on the desk across the room.

I watch him and he turns back to me, "Now that you can walk normally, and it's established that you can live without the support of my machines, we must move on to the important things. You are going to be regarded as a member of this Organization, and that means you'll have to carry out our work, as all members do. And to do that, you must be taught how to engage in battle. Giving you a weapon so early in your state would be highly unwise, not to mention dangerous. Therefor, I'm going to teach you a single magic base. I'm certain you will learn more as time goes on, but for now, you are going to learn how to channel my type of magic; Ice."

So for the next few days, Vexen teaches me how to turn my energy into magic. It's hard, and I can't really do it easily, or as many times as he demands, but I can at least do it. After the final day of "preparation" he groans, "It's not perfect, but I guess it will work for now. I will continue to teach you when I have time. I have missions of my own that I've been neglecting to work on you. You'll be on your own for a few days after today."

He hands me a black sleeveless shirt, black pants, black gloves, and long black boots. He helps me get changed, and then he helps me put the coat on, showing me how to do it myself. He pulls the hood up over my face, "Just in case your appearance isn't quite finished and does happen to change, keep this on, so no one will know about it. Only take this off if you're alone. Lord Xemnas is going to introduce you to the other members today, and you'll be getting your own room. I'll show you to your room, and then I will take you to the Round Room for the introduction."

We leave the dark room and I stop, the sudden light almost blinds me. Vexen grabs my arm and pulls me along behind him. At least the hood shields me from the light mostly. I blink multiple times, trying to adjust to the light, as well as memorize the way to my room. We finally stop and Vexen opens the door. I push my hood down, looking around. It's a very bare room. The only thing I see in the room is a bed with a strange symbol against the wall. There's a window and all I see out of it is darkness.

Vexen sighs, and he raises his hand. As he does this, darkness rises from the ground. I can see darkness rippling within darkness. I tilt my head. Vexen rolls his eyes, "It's a corridor of darkness. It's how we move from place to place. The Round Room is a special place in this castle, the only way to get in there is through a corridor. Now, come on. You don't want to keep everyone waiting, do you?"

He walks into the portal and I follow him hesitantly. I come out of the "corridor" and I'm standing on the floor of a.. Round room. I look up and I see multiple chairs high in the room. I see a lot of people, each person fills a chair. The only people I recognize are Vexen, who's sitting in a chair now, and Xemnas, who's right in front of me, sitting higher than the rest. I stare up at him and I feel uneasy. He speaks then, "Comrades, today is a momentous day. Today we welcome another member chosen to wear the coat. One of the Keyblade's chosen."

 _What's a Keyblade? Vexen never gave me any kind of weapon. He just taught me ice magic_. Xemnas continues, "Everyone welcome Number XIV, Xion."

3128-X-I-O-N-14. X-I-O-N-14. My name. Xion. Number XIV. This is the name they gave to me. I look around at the other members. They all seem either kind of interested, or completely uninterested. Then my gaze settles on a smaller boy with spiky blond hair. I look at him and Sora's face flashes through my mind. _Who is he?_ I smile at him and he gasps softly. _I want to know that boy._


	3. Different Somethings

**Different Somethings**

I sit in my room, wearing my hood up as I stare into the darkness out my window. I've been ordered to stay in my room by Vexen until he comes back from his missions. He says he has over a months' worth of work to do because of me. _I don't understand, what is a "month?"_ Maybe it's another weird word for time passing. Like "days." _Yes, that has to be it._ I haven't left my room in awhile, I'm not entirely sure how long it's been. The longer I stay in here, the more I want to leave. I want to see that blond boy, I want to know why I feel like I know him. I want to know his name, I want to know if he knows ice magic, too. I want him to talk to me, like Vexen does. Well, _nicer_ than Vexen does. _  
_

I sigh softly and lay down on my bed. This bed is much softer than the slab I slept on. The other members of this Organization, I want to know them. I want to know their names, I want to be one of them. I want to belong somewhere. _Is this where I belong?_ How do I know? I don't even know myself really. All I know is I am a number and a name. I'm a "she," according to Vexen. _What is that?_ Xemnas kept calling me " _it_." Am I an "it?"

I frown, sitting up. My hood falls back and I take my gloves off. I stare at my hands, tilting my head, _Come to think of it, I still don't really know what I look like. I have to look like something, right? Vexen looks like something. Xemnas is a different something. The members of the Organization all look like different somethings. I look like something, too, don't I?_

Suddenly, my door opens and I quickly pull my hood up. I put the gloves back on, like Vexen showed me, and I stare curiously as a man with blue hair enters the room. I saw him in the Round Room however long ago that was. Could have been a long time, could have been a few "minutes." I can't tell. I don't know what "time" is. The blue haired man has a scar on his face, and his eyes are cold, almost like Xemnas's. I swallow and he crosses his arms, eyes narrowing, "Get up. You're being put to work."

I blink, _What? Vexen said to stay in here until he came back._ The man stares at me and then he growls, walking up to me. He grabs my arm roughly, I make a weird sound at the sudden and brief pain I feel in my arm as he pulls me off the bed. He growls at me, "If you're going to _disgrace_ us by wearing our coat, then you have to _pay_ your _dues_."

He more or less drags me from the room and we go down a long hallway and then we turn right. We come out into a dead-end room with a giant window, showing all the darkness this place has to offer. The only things in the room are three couches pushed together on the left side and the right side of the room. He lets go of me and turns to face me then. He crosses his arms, "I'm sending you on a mission to find four items. Vexen taught you to fight, here's your list now get going."

He uncrosses his arms, reaches into a pocket of his coat and then shoves a piece of paper at me. I take the paper and stare at it. I can't read. I continue to stare at the paper and he raises his hand. I look up just in time for him to hit me in the face. The sudden force knocks me to the ground. My face hurts now and I hear him groan, "Worthless, brain-dead-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa there, Saix. Don't be hitting the kids, now. It'll look bad on your permanent record." I hear someone chuckle behind me.

The man, Saix clicks his tongue, "What do you want, Axel? You completed your mission for the day."

I see someone crouch down beside me and they put my arm around them, pulling me up before letting go. I look up at the new person. It's another tall guy, but this one has weird long, spiky red hair. He shrugs, crossing his arms, "You're sending newbie on a mission already? You gave Roxas a day before putting him to work. Kid's been here for a few hours. Come on, man, have a _heart_."

Saix's eyes narrow, "I don't have time for your games, Axel."

This man, Axel, is so different compared to the people I've met so far. By far, Saix is the one I don't want to be around the most. Axel is different, he has a different way about him. I don't know how to explain what I'm feeling. Axel is.. Sort of like the blond boy. I want to know more about him. Axel shrugs again, "So, you're sending her out on a mission, right? Let me accompany her. We'll get the mission done before you can blink."

Saix frowns, "Do what you want, you still have work to do tomorrow."

Saix walks away and Axel turns to me, grinning, "So, what's the mission we're going on?"

I hand him the paper Saix gave to me and he nods lightly, "Cool, this is simple. Great. Let's get going."

He holds out his arm and a corridor of darkness appears before us, like what Vexen did. He pushes me towards it lightly, "Go on, it's not going to bite?"

He chuckles as he follows me into the darkness, "Sheesh, and I thought Roxas was a zombie."

We come out of the darkness into a whole new place. There's light here, kind of dim, but still lovely and bright. I look around and we're standing near a large towering building. There are a few winding paths crossing over each other, and there's a weird long moving block moving along one of them. I see more buildings further down below us. It all looks so pretty. I look up and the sky is a funny color, a lot of different, pretty colors, and there's a big glowing light orb far away. It's so pretty. Axel shakes me lightly, "Hey, don't stare at the sun for too long."

The orb's a sun? Is "light" a "sun?" All these words mean nothing to me, but I feel like I should understand more. I look down at my feet and I hear Axel chuckle, "Hey, I know it's pretty and all, and I'm sure you've never seen sunlight before, but it's bad for your eyes. Come on, let's get this mission done so we can go home."

I follow him as he walks towards a path with a huge sign over it. I can't read that either. My mind goes back to what he just said about the "sun." That if I look at the "light," it'll hurt my eyes. Is the light bad for me? For the Organization? Is that why we stay in darkness? The light is so pretty, I don't want it to hurt me. I don't want to stay in the darkness. An image of place by the water flashes through my mind. The light there is so much brighter, so much more beautiful. That place, by the water.. _"Island."_ I want to go there, I feel like I _need_ to be there. _Is that where I belong?_


	4. What Does It Mean To Be Real?

**What Does It Mean To Be Real?**

I follow Axel almost numbly. I look around this new place, this new world, trying to take it all in. There's so much here, and I don't know how to describe what I'm seeing. Axel stops and I bump into him, not paying attention. He turns to me, grinning, "You okay there, kid?"

I just stare at him and his grin slips to a smile as he rubs the back of his head, "Well.. I'll just take that as a yes."

He shakes his head and pulls the paper from his pocket; our _mission_. He reads over the paper again an then puts it back in his pocket. He chuckles dryly, "Couldn't have put a little detail into where exactly in Twilight Town these items are, could you, Saix?"

He shakes his head again and continues walking, "Come on, kid. Only one left now."

I follow after him and we walk for awhile in silence and when we enter an empty lot a huge black shadow-like thing rises out of the ground. Axel clicks his tongue, "Looks like that Heartless has the last item we need."

I look at the "Heartless" and I don't see any item, is he able to see what I can't? He must be, I didn't see any of the other items we got from the other creatures that surfaced before. Red, spiked wheels of fire appear again in his hands and he grins, "let's take this thing down. Last one, then we can go home."

I nod slowly, remembering my ice magic. He nods in return to my.. Lack of reply.

"Good, let's go." he says, running at the "Heartless."

I raise my hands, trying to summon forth my magic again. I have to help, I have to belong. I don't have anything else. The ice shoots from my hands and it flies towards the "Heartless," hitting the monster in the chest, above a strange hole in its stomach. The "Heartless" lets out a roar and Axel attacks with his spiked wheels of fire. I continue shooting ice at its head, I have to be useful. I need to be useful. That's all I can think about as I use the only form of attack I know.

Axel continues his assault and suddenly little creatures with yellow eyes come out of the ground around us. I gasp and start shooting my ice at them instead. More keep coming and I try to shoot them all. These little creatures keep my attention as more and more appear. It must be some kind of reaction to the big "Heartless" we're attacking. Why else would so many come now?

It takes awhile, but finally, all the "Heartless" are gone. Axel stretches his arms over his head, "Hm, not bad, kid. For being so new, you sure held your own. I'm sure Saix will like to hear that."

He drops his arms to his sides and opens a portal in front of us, "Anyway, we should get back, I have the four items, so I'll give them to Saix for you."

I nod slowly and walk into the portal of darkness. We out back out inside the castle again. Saix is there, waiting for us with crossed arms and a cold stare, "Well?"

Axel takes the items from his pocket. I wish I knew what they were. He hands them to Saix, "Piece of cake."

Saix nods lightly and puts the items in his own pocket before leaving. Axel turns to me, "Looks like it's lights out. Go on back to your room and get some sleep. I'm sure he'll have another mission for you tomorrow."

He walks off down the hall Saix left through and I follow. I follow the path, trying to recall the way Saix took me, it's confusing, because it's backwards. I finally get back to my room and I sit on my bed. I push my hood back and sigh, closing my eyes. _That place.. Axel called it "Twilight Town." That place.. It's so full of "light." It felt almost right to be there. In the back of my mind I can feel a longing feeling, a sort of.. What's the word..?_ "Homesickness." _Yes, that's it. I feel homesick. I want to go to the "Island" from my dream. I feel like I need to be there, I miss being there. Is that where I'm from?_

 _Vexen said he created me, but.. Is that the truth? Am I really just.. Something to be made? If I'm made.. Does that mean I can be broken?_ I shiver, that thought scares me. I open my eyes and take my gloves off. I stare at my hands, _Am I.. Real? What exactly am I?_ Vexen called me "she," he called me "3128-X-I-O-N-14." Xemnas called me "Number XIV," called me "Xion," called me.. " _It_." Am I any of those things? Am I _all_ of them? _What am I?_

I clench and unclench my hands, turning them front and back, studying them. _What does it mean to be real?_ I unzip my coat and take it off. Letting it drop to the floor, I look down at my body. I look solid, I look like _something_. _Can I really be nothing at all?_ I need a definite answer, I need to know exactly what I am. If I'm just Nobody's creation, or if I exist on some level.. I _have_ to know.

I take off my boots and stare at my feet as I lie on the bed on my side. _I have a body, that means I am something, right?_ Not knowing what "something" I am is what makes me uneasy. But maybe.. I don't want to know. _What if I am just something that was created, something with false memories, a false body, a false face?_ Do I really want to know for sure that's what I am? I close my eyes, going to sleep. _Yes._


	5. Faults

**Faults**

I return to the castle with a tall man with long black and gray hair. He has something covering his eye. What is his name again? _Xigbar_. He pats my back, "You did good, Poppet. ** _"_**

I just nod and head back to my room. I barely hear Xigbar address Saix as I pass into the hallway. When I get to my room, I sit on my bed and stare out the window. I don't bother to pull my hood down. I can't see what I look like, so there's no point in taking the hood down. I keep it up around the other members on order, so what's the point of taking it down? I've done four missions; One with Axel, one with Lexaeus, Luxord, and today's with Xigbar. The missions blend together in my mind.

Find items, kill Heartless. Find Heartless, kill. Kill Heartless-kill Heartless-kill Heartless-kill Heartless-Heartless-kill-Heartless kill-kill-kill-kill-kill-kill-kill-kill-kill-

My door suddenly opens, jarring me from my "thoughts." I look to the door and it's Vexen. He doesn't look pleased. He crosses his arms, "I was told you were put to work?"

I nod and he raises an eyebrow, "Well?"

I just stare at him and he groans, "Out with it, how did your missions go? Have you been successful?"

I blink, continuing to stare at him. I don't know how to respond. I don't know how to make a voice. Vexen comes up to me and smacks me across the face. I fall against the bed, a weird sound like a cry escapes my throat. Vexen grabs my hood and pulls me up. He glares at me, "Damn, it's broken."

I'm " _it_ " again.

He sighs and I blink and he pulls me off the bed. He shoves the hood back over my head and grabs my arm. He mutters as he drags me from the room, "I need to fix it before word gets to Xemnas."

 _Fix it? Am I broken?_ How did I get broken? I thought I was doing so well. I even know how to make my magic come exactly when I want it to now, I don't have to concentrate that much anymore. We're stopped by Saix and Vexen groans, "Can you get out of the way?"

Saix looks at me, then back to Vexen, "Where are you taking it?"

Vexen sniffs, "I'm making adjustments. You set my project to work before my return. I have to make up for your lack of judgement."

" _My_ lack of judgement?" Saix's eyes narrow, "If it doesn't function properly, that's on you. I told Lord Xemnas this pet project of yours was useless. He should be putting you to work like the rest of us."

"Like the rest of you, huh?" Vexen snarls, "I don't see you doing anything but laying about the castle."

"Insolence," Saix glares,"Go fix your damaged property. I must inform The Superior of it's.. Faults."

 _Have I really been doing that badly?_ Vexen grumbles and pushes past Saix, pulling me along. We go back to the familiar room I first woke up in. Vexen gestures for me to go to a strange tube-like thing that wasn't here before. I walk over to it and stare at it. I don't know what it is. Vexen comes up to the tube as well and he presses buttons on the other side. I step back, eyes widening as the tube opens, the front part lies on the ground, on a sort of hinge, almost like a door. Vexen turns to me, "Take those off and put this on. Then get in."

He hands me the very sheet I wore before he gave me these clothes. I take the clothes off and put the sheet on, before stepping up into the tube. It's cold to the touch. Vexen presses more buttons and the tube's front moves back into place, trapping me inside. I look at Vexen, I want to know what's going on, what this thing will do to me.

He doesn't look at me as he presses more buttons. Something hisses and mist fills the tube and then some kind of liquid that's too heavy to just be water starts to fill the tube as well. From the top, something hangs down. Vexen instructs me to put it on my mouth, to put the "strap" around my head. I do as he says and I feel air being pushed into my nose and mouth. The tube fills completely with the liquid and it burns my eyes. I close my eyes and almost instantly I feel heavy, and yet I feel I'm floating. I can hear waves rushing in my ears. I can hear laughter and I feel the wind blowing.

I open my eyes and I see a bright blue sky. I smile, closing my eyes and diving into the water I'm floating through. I kick my legs, shooting myself forward before coming back out of the water. I gasp for air, laughing. I open my eyes and I can see **_Riku_ ** and **_Kairi_ ** swimming ahead of me. They're both laughing. _ **I'm losing the race.**_ I take a breath and dive again, kicking my feet harder, trying to propel myself farther. I need to at least catch up. **_No, I need to win.  
_**

I push harder, moving my body faster. **_I can't lose another race to Riku._** _**He'll never let me live it down. He's been beating me all day. First it was the race through the course we made on the back of the island, then it was who could find a certain item Kairi hid on the island first. Riku beat me then, too. Now it's a swimming race back to the shore. I refuse to lose to Riku again. Ugh, I can hear him laughing now, preparing his victory speech. I have to knock him down peg.**_

I swim until I can't hold my breath anymore, and thankfully I feel the sand beneath my feet. I break the surface and clamber onto the beach, falling down. I open my eyes, laughing. I'm the first one, Riku drops next to me a moment after and then Kairi joins us. We're all laughing. I high five Kairi, then I grin at Riku, _"Take that! I won! Oh, yeah! Sora's a winner, baby!"_


	6. Who I Want To Be

**Who I Want To Be**

Riku smirks, "I let you win. Obviously."

I turn and glare, _"You did not."_

 _That's not my voice. I'm speaking but it doesn't sound like the voice in my head. Or maybe it does. I don't know anymore._

He pushes wet bangs from his eyes, "Of course I did."

 _"Liar!"_ I protest, _"I won fair and square!"_

"Don't get pouty on us," Riku laughs, standing. He smiles, ruffling my hair, "I'm just messing with you, Sora."

That name again. _Sora_. Is that my name? Xemnas called me Xion. What is my name? _Who am I?_ Am I Sora, or am I _Xion?_ I push Riku's hand away, frowning, _"Not cool, dude."_

Kairi giggles and puts her arm around me, smiling, "Yay, you won! Great job!"

I turn and smile back at her. _**God, her smile is beautiful. I love her smile, the color of her hair, especially her eyes. Oh, man, her eyes.**_. She's the most beautiful person I've ever seen. ** _I just love they way she looks at me._** _That's how I want to be. I want to be like Kairi. I want to be pretty, and smart, and so beloved by those around her. I want to be kind and happy. I want to be like Kairi. I want to be "Xion" and I want to be like Kairi. I want to be pretty, and smart and cared for. I want to belong in the Organization. I want the members to treat me like I belong, like Riku and I (Sora?) treat Kairi._

I shake my head, _"Thanks, Kai **."**_

She nods and takes a step back. She puts her hands behind her back, "You guys are so silly. So competitive. You're like brothers."

"How do you know what having brothers is like?" Riku wrings out the ends of his hair.

Kairi giggles, "I may be an only child, but I do know what having brothers looks like. I've been around you guys, and Tidus and Waaka. It's not that hard to see the difference in friendships. Like, you and Sora have a closer friendship than Tidus and Waaka, but you guys also rival each other a lot. Like brothers."

I chuckle, _"Hate to break it to you, but that doesn't make much sense, Kairi."_

She turns to me, speaking matter-of-factually, "Sure it does. Like I said, look at the way you and Riku interact with each other. Now, compare that to how you react to Tidus or Waaka. You're obviously closer to Riku. There are differences. You and Riku test each other, while Tidus and Waaka merely hang out."

"Huh," Riku shakes his head, smiling lightly, "I guess you're kind of right. Our little Kairi's more than looks it seems."

Kairi puts her hands on her hips, pretending to be angry with him, "Excuse you?"

Riku laughs and holds his hands up in surrender, "Kidding, kidding."

She crosses her arms, smiling again. She shakes her head. I grin, playfully punches Riku in the shoulder. He grins back at me and shoves me back. Kairi rolls her eyes, "Oh, god, here they go again."

 _"First one to get pinned loses."_ I state.

Riku continues to grin, "You're on."

I blink slowly, opening heavy eyelids. I'm greeted by darkness and as my eyes adjust I see I'm back in Vexen's lab. I blink multiple times, trying to fully wake myself up. The strange liquid is gone and I take the mask off my head. I push on the glass containing me, but it won't move. I stare at my hands. Are they smaller than before? I look down at my body and it seems a little smaller than I remember, and I can see hair hanging in my face as I stare down.

The hair is short. I move my hands to my head, feeling my hair. It's different from before, too. I'm sure of it. The way my hair feels, the length, it could be Kairi's hairstyle. The color I saw when my hair hung in my face was red. I push against the glass again. It's cold, I want out of here. Whatever this machine is supposed to do, it must have done it if I'm awake now, back here. _If this is real, what did I see when I closed my eyes?_

I close my eyes, I can still hear their laughter in the back of my mind. _I don't know what is real anymore. Maybe I'm not even real._ I open my eyes as I hear the lab door open. Vexen comes in and he stops, staring at me. I stare back and then he rushes over to the machine keeping me imprisoned. He frowns, staring at me, "You've changed appearances again."

 _I have? I didn't know what I looked like before._

I frown lightly, forcing words out my throat, I need answers. "What.. Was.. Broken..?"

Vexen's eyes light up, "You're fixed."

I continue to frown, he didn't answer my question, and he doesn't as he lets me out of the pod. My clothes are still on the ground where I left them and I change back into them. He smirks, "Are you ready to be put back to work then, _Xion?_ "

I nod and he leads me back to my room. He closes the door, "Report to Saix tomorrow to get your mission."

I nod again as I'm left alone in the room. I sit on my bed and stare out the window into the darkness as I had before. I sigh and lean on the windowsill. I stare out into the darkness and I feel like a part of me is missing. The more I stare into the darkness, the more I feel like I need to be back in the light. I get these images flashing behind my eyelids when I blink, images of Heartless, and images of Riku, holding a weapon at me. _Can it be.. The darkness is bad?_


	7. The Light In The Darkness

**The Light In The Darkness  
**

"Come along now, Xion," Zexion says, ushering me along as we walk down the path from the thing Xigbar told me is a "clock tower," "We're here to rid of a certain Heartless, do you remember what kind?"

The image comes to my mind, but I can't remember the name, and I'm at a loss as to how to describe it. So I shake my head slowly and Zexion sighs, "It's the Bully Dog. You know, there will be missions you have to complete alone, and you won't have someone around to remind you what your mission is. So, you better start paying more attention when Saix gives his orders."

I nod and he shakes his head, continuing down the path. I follow behind him until we get to an open sandy place. We get there as some kids leave from across the place. I tilt my head lightly in their direction, this is the first time I've seen actual people here. Zexion walks further into the lot and I follow slowly. He's looking around, almost pacing. It's like he expects what we're after to be here.

And, of course, it is. Out of nowhere, a sphere of darkness appears, and our target appears out from inside it. The sphere of darkness disappears and I look at Zexion, wanting to warn him, but he's one step ahead of me. A large book is in his left hand and he holds out his right as a blast of darkness is shot at the Heartless. I raise my hands to summon my magic and help Zexion with the battle.

It doesn't take long to kill the Heartless, Zexion finishes it before I get to fight much, and then we're heading back to the "clock tower" so we can go home. We get back to the corridor that brought us here, and Zexion opens it up again and I follow him through. Like at the end of every mission, we're returned to the room with the couches inside our castle. Zexion reports to Saix and I dread the time I have to by myself.

I see Axel and the blond boy from the Round Room come into the room and the blond boy looks at me. He keeps his eyes on me while he follows Axel to Saix. The blond boy grabs Axel's arm, "Axel, who's that?"

Axel looks at me and then back at the blond boy. He smirks, "What? You forgot our new member already, Roxas? Her name's Xion. Get it memorized, man."

" _Xion_ ," Roxas says, still staring at me.

I gasp softly, _Roxas._ For an instant it's Sora I see, and then I blink and Roxas is back. I frown, turning away, heading out of the room. _What just happened?_ A few "days" pass and I continue to carry out missions with some of the members I've already met. I sit in my room after my mission and I'm startled by the door opening. Vexen comes into the room and I look at him in silence. I haven't spoken since Vexen "fixed" me, I hope he doesn't think I'm still broken.

Vexen clears his throat, "The Superior wishes to see you."

I blink slowly, getting off the bed. I walk up to him and he sighs, pulling my hood down. I look away from his gaze and he crosses his arms, "You've changed again."

 _What does he mean?_

He groans, "The Superior is not going to like this."

 _What about me has changed? I still feel the same._

He pulls my hood back on, grimacing, "Let's just hope for the best then."

He opens a portal and I follow him inside. We come out in the Round Room. Vexen stands behind me, pushing me forward. I look up at the man with the gold eyes, sitting above me in the highest chair. He tilts his head lightly, eyes narrowing, "Remove your hood."

I slowly pull my hood down and he looks slightly amused, "So, its appearance has changed again."

"Sir, I can ex-" Vexen is cut off by our Superior, "No need. Tell me, child, do you know what you are?"

I search my memory for the word Vexen called us once. My voice sounds unnatural to me as I speak the word, "Nobody..?"

The Superior smirks, "You haven't told it what it is, Vexen?"

"I believe it would be better for the.. Experiment is she is.. Unaware of her origins." Vexen replies.

 _But I'm not. I know Vexen is my.. What's the word? "Creator?" But I'm not a "Nobody?" What my first name was.. The names of the others.. I'm not like them. I know that. So, just what exactly am I?_ The Superior nods, smirking lightly, "We shall see how this plays out. All is in order with its coding?"

 _Coding?_

"Yes, Superior. I believe the data we collected from the Keybearer has taken root within her." Vexen replies.

"Hm, yes, I can see that. I want her paired up with Roxas until further notice. Let me know if any other changes occur. Dismissed." The Superior waves us away and Vexen opens a portal. We go through and we're back in my room. Vexen pushes me towards my bed as he turns for the door, "I'll tell Saix the Superior wants you paired with Roxas for your future missions. Report to him in the morning."

He leaves and I frown, sitting on my bed. _I'm.. Some kind of experiment. I don't belong here. If I'm not one of them, then what is my purpose?_ I lie down and stare at the ceiling. At least I'll be able to be around Roxas tomorrow. He seems so familiar to me. I close my eyes and go to sleep. I open my eyes as my door opens. I sit up and pull my hood up as Vexen enters the room.

"Report to Saix to get your mission. You'll be on your own from here on out, I have matters to attend to with some of the other members. I won't be back for some time. Just do as you're told and don't disappoint the Superior." he says before leaving again. I get up and follow him to the room with the couches. I walk up to Saix slowly and he stares down at me with a look of almost disgust, "You'll get your mission as soon as Roxas gets here."

A moment later, Roxas runs up to us, "Sorry I'm late. Axel said you have a new mission for me?"

Saix hands a piece of paper to Roxas, "Yes. This is your mission for today. Being as you're.. Older than Xion, you'll be in charge. Disembark at once."

He walks away and Roxas turns to me. He smiles, "Um, hi. My name is Roxas. You're Xion?"

I nod slowly and his smile widens, "Great, so our mission's heart collecting. It's not that hard. Easy mission, I've done plenty of them. Come on,I'll show you what to do."

He opens a portal and I follow him inside. We come out in the familiar place with the clock tower. He turns and smiles at me, his smile is so bright. _So friendly_. I smile back lightly, _I like being around him._ He looks around, his expression turning serious, "Okay, so heart collecting. Have you done this mission yet? It's pretty easy. This page Saix gave me tells us how many hearts we need to collect today, which means how many Heartless we need to kill."

He smiles again, showing me the page with words I can't read, "Looks like Saix's going easy on us today. This number's not that big. We should be done really quickly."


	8. Mission Bonding

**Mission Bonding**

Roxas ducks as I shoot fire, courtesy of Zexion, at the Heartless trying to swarm him. He turns and grins at me before going back to attacking the Heartless with some kind of weapon. It's kind of funny looking, not very practical. Well, Zexion fights with a book, so I guess I can't "grief" Roxas for fighting with a funny looking key sword. _Keyblade_ , a familiar voice speaks in the back of my mind. _Right. Keyblade._ We finish off the Heartless and Roxas's Keyblade disappears as he stretches his arms over his head. He turns and smiles at me, "You go ahead and return to the castle, I've got somewhere to be. I'll return later."

He opens a corridor for me and I nod slowly, walking into it. I walk over to Saix, staring at the floor. I can feel his eyes on me and he clears his throat, "Where is Roxas?"

I take a deep breath, "The mission.. Was a success.. Roxas.. Told me to go ahead back here. He said he had something to do before he comes back."

Saix groans lightly, "What habit has Axel burned into that boy's head? Very well, return to your room. I'll have another mission for you in the morning."

I nod and hurry to my room. I push my hood back once I'm safely alone and I sigh, sitting on my bed. I smile, "I get to be on another mission with Roxas tomorrow. I like Roxas, he's nice to me."

I turn to the window and lean on the window sill, staring out into the darkness. I see some of the other members sitting around on those couches back in that room together. They seem to enjoy each others company. Well, some of them do. _Can I be like that? Can I sit with them and enjoy their company? Do I really have to be alone all the time? I don't want to be._

* * *

The next "morning" I stand before Saix, waiting for "today's" mission. Roxas comes up to us and Saix hands him a piece of paper, "Get going."

Roxas nods and opens a portal as he had "yesterday." I follow him inside and once we're back in Twilight Town, he turns to me and smiles, "Heart collecting again today. A bigger number, but it won't take too long. I have a question though, Weren't you introduced as a Keyblade weirder? Or did I hear that wrong? I've only seen you use magic, so.."

I blink, staring from beneath my hood. I don't actually know. I do remember being introduced like that, but.. Vexen never said anything about me getting a weapon of my own. Roxas stares at me, waiting for an answer, but I don't have one, so I just stare back. He chuckles softly, turning away, "Anyway.. Let's get this mission done."

I follow him around town, fighting Heartless where they appear. After awhile, Roxas turns to me and smiles, "Well, that's our quota. You go ahead and go back, I got somewhere to be again today."

He opens a portal for me and I stare at him for a moment before turning and walking into the portal. I report to Saix again, repeating what I told him "yesterday," and then I return to my room. "Tomorrow's" another mission with Roxas. I go to sleep and when I wake up in the morning, I feel happier. I can't place why, but things are starting to make sense to me. I don't know why, but I'm not going to question it. I straighten my coat and make sure my hood covers my "identity" as Vexen tells me to do, and then I leave the room. I return to what I decided to call the "Mission Room" since I go there every day to get my next mission from Saix.

I find Roxas is waiting for me this time. Saix hands him a piece of paper again and we're on our way. We're back in Twilight Town and Roxas looks at the paper, "Okay, big mission today. We have to find the Dark Side here and take it out. Have you fought one of those before?"

He looks at me and I nod. He nods and we head towards the "clock tower." When we get there, our target appears. Roxas's Keyblade appears and I prepare my magic.

"Aim for the head!" he says as he runs at the Heartless. I summon my ice magic and shoot it at the Heartless's face. The ice doesn't seem to be doing much, so I turn to using fire instead. Like the last time I fought one of these, the little shadow Heartless appear and I start attacking those. I alternate between hitting the Dark Side and the little Heartless while Roxas focuses on the Dark Side. The Dark Side suddenly smacks Roxas clear across the the "clock tower station" causing him to drop his Keyblade close to me. I gasp as the Dark Side moves towards me now.

I pick up Roxas's Keyblade and my body moves on its own. I jump up and shoot fire at the Dark Side with my free hand and when it tries to hit me, I grab one of its fingers and flip onto its hand. I then run up the creature's arm and stab the Keyblade straight into the Heartless's head. The creature roars and I'm thrown off. I flip while I'm falling so I land on my feet. The Heartless disappears and Roxas's Keyblade falls to the ground. I blink slowly, breathing heavily as I try to understand what just happened.

Roxas comes over, picking up his Keyblade. He kneels beside me, "You okay? That was amazing, I didn't know you could use the Keyblade."

 _Neither did I._ I stand, returning his smile. He opens a portal beside us, "You can go back now. I've got somewhere to be again."

He turns away from me and I watch after him, "R.."

I close my eyes, _Come on, you can talk. So talk._ I open my eyes, trying to speak loudly and clearly, "Roxas."

He stops and turns back to me, looking slightly surprised, "What?"

I smile lightly, "Roxas. That's your name.. Isn't it?"

He smiles again, "Yeah. It is."

I hesitate, then pull my hood down. I smile nervously, holding my hand out to him, "I'm Xion."


End file.
